I really struggle with having an abundance mindset, but I’m trying. An abundance mindset is not believing that just because someone gets something it means you don’t. Even though my rational brain states that it’s not true, my emotional brain always tries to scream ‘mine’ and get me to run to the corner and hide.
I think I can firmly place how this all began. As a child, I played nicely and looked after my things. I’ve always been very careful with my ‘stuff’. I don’t consider myself to be materialistic in the sense that most people think; I don’t want fine art, the best things, or even things that are better than what everyone else. I’ve no desire at all to keep up with the Joneses. I just like my stuff to be my stuff. I’ve had been that way since I can remember. Then, when I was six, my baby sister was born and came into my life like a tornado (which, in fairness, she has pretty much remained ever since) and as a baby / toddler had no qualms about breaking my stuff or smearing it in melted chocolate that she had refused to relinquish from her grubby little fist for six hours.
Thus began the concept of ‘mine’. If I share, it will be taken from me and destroyed.
Of course, as an adult, take that attitude too far and you simply become cynical and bitter. So whilst I’ll probably never be great at sharing with the other kids, that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for them when they have achievements and blessings in life. It might mean overcoming the worst parts of my nature, but I’m determined to give it a try.
Now give me my blog back. It’s mine…